The journey through recovery is filled with lessons, and one that’s stood out to me lately is the difference between being thankful and being grateful. For a long time, I didn’t give much thought to these words—they seemed interchangeable. But as I’ve worked the steps and walked my path, I’ve come to realize they mean something different, especially in the context of recovery.

Let me share what I’ve learned by looking back at my own story.

When I first found out I needed a liver transplant, I was upset, overwhelmed, and unsure of how to cope. Drinking wasn’t an option anymore, and for the first time in a long time, I had to face my emotions head-on. In those early moments, I decided to focus on what I could be thankful for. I told myself to be thankful that a surgery even existed to save my life.

But gratitude came later, and it ran deeper. In order to qualify for the transplant, I had to be sober for six months. At the time, it felt like just another hoop to jump through—another test in a series of challenges. But now, looking back, I am grateful for those six months of sobriety because they became the foundation for something much bigger. They gave me a chance at recovery, and that six-month requirement turned into what I pray will be a lifetime of sobriety.

It’s moments like these that remind me how thankfulness and gratitude are intertwined. “Being thankful got me through those early days. Being grateful keeps me moving forward.”

When I think about being thankful, I think of specific moments—times when someone showed up for me or when life handed me a break I didn’t see coming. For example, after my surgery, my wife became my caregiver. She stepped up in ways I’ll never fully be able to repay. I am thankful for her selflessness during those long and challenging days.

But my gratitude is even more profound. I am grateful that we found each other. She is a woman who is not only beautiful on the outside and inside but also one whose strength and kindness have carried me through some of life’s hardest moments. I don’t take for granted the fact that I have someone like her to share my life with, in both the good times and the bad.

It’s this same distinction that I see in so many moments of my life today. Recently, some friends invited me to a family gathering. I felt thankful to be included. But sitting there with those friends, surrounded by people who truly cared—who asked how I was doing and genuinely listened—it hit me how much deeper my feelings went. I wasn’t just thankful for the invitation; I was grateful for the people who have come into my life and for the connections that continue to grow and support me in recovery.

And then there’s AA. I’m thankful that I get to go to meetings and that there’s a safe space for me to share and learn. But my gratitude is for the worldwide fellowship of AA. No matter where I go, I know I’ll find people who understand and who speak the same language of hope and recovery. That’s a gift I never knew I needed before I began this journey.

I’m thankful for my sponsor, too. His guidance has been invaluable as I work through the 12 steps. But my gratitude extends beyond just him. I’m grateful for all those who have walked this road before us—the people who laid the foundation and shared their wisdom and stories so that people like me could have a chance at a better life.

Looking back, I see so many moments where thankfulness and gratitude intertwine. Before recovery, I couldn’t see them at all. I was too wrapped up in my own struggles, too caught in the cycle of shame and regret. But today, I try to honor both. I remind myself to thank the people who make a difference in my life and to pause and reflect on the bigger picture—the gifts that come from a power greater than myself, which I believe is God of The Bible. For me, this creates an ever-growing list that keeps me grounded and hopeful. I review my list most days, and whether it’s my wife, my friends, AA, or the chance to live a sober life, I try to carry both thankfulness and gratitude with me every day. It’s one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in recovery, and it’s a gift I’ll never take for granted.

I’ll wrap it up with a question for you: What are you thankful for today? And what are you grateful for in the grander scheme of things? I suggest you write these things down and refer/add to the list regularly while being thankful and grateful for at least a few minutes daily.